The stress of pulling the long shifts, combined with the horrific content we were subjected to on a near-daily basis made sleep nearly impossible. No matter how hard I tried shutting out the images of torture, rape, and abuse….no matter how long I ran for on the treadmill at the end of my shift….I couldn’t block out the sounds and images. The brutality was too vivid, too present.
Rest came only through creative drugging. I didn’t want to go to the clinic complaining of insomnia. I didn’t want to let on that work was bothering me. So, I did what any good Marine would do, I improvised. With the help of a hefty swig of NyQuil each evening, raised in a toast with my roommate, we were able to drown the demons and nightmares in a groggy crappy sleep, serenaded by the helicopters hovering over our cans as they took off and landed on various night missions.
I shudder to consider just how many bottles of that disgusting syrup we consumed. It can’t have been good for us, but it did make sleep possible. Even now, there are nights when I reach for the familiar liquid. Only now they have a slightly more “healthy” version called ZzzQuil. All the benefits of the sleep aid without the cold and cough medicine.
pine sap & paper 