chicken fuckers*

*graphic content ahead*

As anybody who has ever held a chicken can tell you, unless you are holding them a particular way chickens can be rather squirrely. To fuck a chicken though? That requires creativity and an equally perverse partner. First, you have to actually want to fuck a chicken. I have never once looked at poultry and thought, yeah that’d be a great screw. But then again, I’m not a man. Maybe men think that way and I just don’t know it. I was horrified to discover in my work in Iraq that the entire gamut of farm animals was up for grabs when it came to sexual encounters. Everything from sheep to goats, donkeys, horses, and then…one day…even chickens. 

We received content that needed translation and T* skimmed it for the usual flags of child pornography, insurgency propaganda, torture, etc. When the chicken fuckers came into view she kindof lost it, and I jumped in to help as well. I mean, how do you explain what you’ve just seen? Did you just see what you thought you did? Rewinding and reviewing, yes, indeed. A chicken fucker brought a new low to our already dismal days.

In order to properly fuck a chicken, you have to grasp a foot in each hand. Then, your best friend and fellow farm animal lover steps up with a helping hand to wrangle the fiercely pecking head. The other head hammering the chicken then does its business. Needless to say, there’s not much left of the chicken after all of this. It’s a clucking mess, with feathers everywhere. You won’t be eating eggs for breakfast any time soon after viewing this performance. 

A true friend then returns the favor for his buddy as another chicken gets brutally traumatized. Chicken fucking. At its finest.